I work from home

This isn’t actually telecommuting. This is my ‘desk’. I occupy a corner of the island in my parents kitchen (because journalism doesn’t pay a lot) and write my daily articles there. Literally right across from the refrigerator.

This naturally helps NO ONE. Especially not me.

I realize this every time I start to try and lose weight, and I try to come up with creative ways of fixing this. So far, none of it works. I tried working in the dining room.

Which is kinda better. But that door leads direct into the kitchen. Which is the place of evil and food and evil.

Unfortunately, there aren’t many (read ANY) other places for me to go to work. I make regular phone calls and making those calls in a Starbucks or library isn’t really professional. So I work out of my house where I’m constantly called to attack the fridge and all the cookies that exist in it.  Which happens, I’m sad to say, rather regularly.

I don’t have an office. Well, I mean, I do. But it’s ages away and if stuff happens I’m much more likely to get to it from my house than the office. So I stay at home. Except that it helps to continue the cycle of food eating.

Which sucks.

A lot.

I seriously need to find a place where I can get all my work done and not eat all the foods.

Perhaps I should give the dining room another chance. See what happens. I’ll let you know if it does.

Fresh Start and Everything that goes with It

I’m over-weight.

There I said it. I’m not obese, I’m not stuck to my chair and I can walk. And I’m not unattractive. But I need to shed a few pounds (or 60).

Not because society wants me to (although it does) or because my doctor told me to (although she did), but because I actually need to do it for me.

So screw everyone else. This is for me. I need to do it for me. And thats my goal. I’m running duel apps (Lose It! and Weight Watchers) in hopes that at least one of the programs will work. Or maybe a combo. Who knows.

I know that I need to start exercising again. I need to start paying attention to portion sizes and I need to not eat the three rolls of freezer cookies I made at a low point yesterday.

I’ve got a problem with food. In that I love it. Like many of us do, which is why we’re all constantly doing battle with it, why I’m doing battle with it. It’s an issue and something I need to work on.

But from here on out I’m going to be better. I will. I have to be. I must be better at this. For me, no one else. I need to feel better about myself.

I miss looking in the mirror and thinking good things. Although, if I’m being honest, I’m not sure if I ever actually did that.

Society is decidedly not nice to girls with my childbearing hips and over large breasts that are grown and not implanted and I learned that from a very early age.

My weight has always been a factor in my self image and honestly something of a sore point. For various reasons my parents took it upon themselves to tell me several times that I needed to lose weight while I was growing up. It never stuck, so they kept telling me.

When I got old enough to realize they were probably right, I went to Weight Watchers lost 20 pounds over the summer and then proceeded to gain it all back at college. I lost it again when I went to India for 6 six weeks in 2007 and then put it all back.

I’ve used personal training, classes, apps and my mother. But nothing seems to stick. So I’m hoping that maybe, a count down here and a daily log of what happens might be what I need.

We’ll see, and I’m hopeful for the next year.