I don’t like Wednesdays or Thursdays

They’re hard on this diet! These two days are, what I feel, the most restrictive part of the diet plan.

I think I explained this diet before, but, to recap:

  • Monday/Tuesday (Phase 1): High Fruit-High Carb intake (no processed/white carbs)
  • Wednesday/Thursday (Phase 2): High Veg- High Protein intake (no fruits)
  • Friday/Saturday/Sunday (Phase 3): All of the Above plus Healthy Fats and Oils

For what ever reason, I find the high veg/high protein part of this diet extraordinarily difficult. Though I think it did just become easier because I discovered some jerky that I like and can have as snacks. The plan calls for jerky with no nitrates in them and I found that it was really difficult to find that in a regular grocery store.

I found this at a local specialty store...

I found this at a local specialty store. For $9…

That was the other part! These two days you have to have a high protein snack (and I’m really not good at getting the timing down. I should be eating breakfast right now…) or vegetables.

The last time I did this I was eating cucumbers for every snack during these two days. Which actually isn’t great for you and not really on plan because it’s supposed to be a protein for snack, hence finding the jerky.

Meanwhile I’m trying to find it in me to exercise this go around. During Phase 2 you’re supposed to do weight training, something I’ve really never done in my life. I pretended to at the gym in college but had no idea what I was doing. Not that I really ever went to the gym during college.

I’m also trying to figure out how to make this diet work while at my weekly editorial meeting. Which is at Panera Breads. My nemesis.

I have absolutely no idea how to order there for Phase 2. The obvious choice is salad, but then what dressing do you get because you can’t have oils and you’ve probably already cheated this week?

All said its an issue to have editorial meeting day fall during Phase 2.

Mostly Phase 2 is an issue. I have such a hard time with it. I just want it to be over so I can get to the weekend and eat avocados and fruit again.


There have been some complications

Right. So. I followed the Fast Metabolism diet very well for the first week and lost eight pounds. Thats a yay.

Then I stopped really paying attention and didn’t lose, but I didn’t gain either. Also a yay.

But then I went to Martha’s Vineyard for a few days and that pretty much ruined everything. But not everything, because I only gained back five of the pounds that I lost.

More yay things!

so not my gif

so not my gif


Now however, I’m starting over, but this time with my mother on hand to do the diet with me.

Which honestly, makes it so much easier because now I’m not the only one worried about certain foods (like bread) and its less likely that the ‘bad’ foods won’t make it into the house.

So these are all good things, and I’m generally happy with it. Except, I’ve just had a few major things piled onto my lap, job wise, and it’s freaking me out a little.

There is a serious possibility that I might be jumping to a completely new type of job and creating the position for the company from the ground up. Mind, I’ve never actually done what it is they would be hiring me to do.Hence the freak out.

What this means for me though, is that I want all the fatty, sugary and ‘bad for me’ foods in existence to help me get through this so that I don’t freak out anymore. Other wise known as stress eating, which is something I’m very good at.

This of course, isn’t going to happen now that my mother is on the diet with me and has basically stated that the whole house will be on the same diet. None of this is fun time.

Complications like stress never factor well into my dieting process. I just want a chocolate bar.

Jamming and Canning

Last week, my  mother, grandparents and sister went to a farm not far from our house and picked A LOT of strawberries.

Taking the tops off the picked strawberries

Taking the tops off the picked strawberries

Seriously, we had two whole flats of strawberries that were piled high in those baskets. It was ridiculous. The ultimate goal of going to the farm was to pick the strawberries to make jam and if there was enough left over ice cream.

There was enough. We made proper ice cream with a custard base and OMG SO GOOD. It’s all gone now.

But, we did make around 17 jars of strawberry jam! Which was double excellent. After we took the tops off the strawberries we froze a bunch and put a bunch aside for the jam to make in the morning.

Stiring the sugar and strawberries with the ball jar tops boiling.

Stirring the sugar and strawberries with the ball jar tops boiling.

This whole thing started several years ago when my mother and I went strawberry picking in Vermont and had a shit ton of strawberries that we weren’t going to eat immediately. So we made jam.

The Jam Recipe: This will make around 8 1 cup jars of jam.

  • 7 Cups of Sugar
  • 4 Cups of Crushed Strawberries
  • 1 Packet of Liquid Pectin
  • 1 Tab of Butter


Basically though, we just followed the instructions on the pectin packet… Which essentially is as follows.

  1. Mix sugar, butter and strawberries in a pot over medium heat and stir constantly until its boiling

    The canning funnel and the start of a second batch

    The canning funnel and the start of a second batch

  2. When its at a full boil quickly add in the pectin and stir more for another minute as it boils
  3. I’m assuming at this point you’re wondering what you are going to put the jam in! Thats why before all this happens you’ve boiled the ball jars, keeping them warm (this is actually important as the tops don’t seal fast if the jars aren’t hot), and boiled the BRAND NEW BALL JAR TOPS and twistys to make sure they’re clean.
  4. At this point you can feel free to start taking off some of the foam that will happen, the butter you put in at the start will keep the amount of foam down but there will still be some and you don’t want that in your jars.
  5. Very carefully transfer the jam into the ball jars, wiping off any bits that may have gotten on the rims (this is when a jamming funnel comes in handy) and then carefully put the tops on the jars.
  6. It’s going to take a bit to seal if you’re like my family and don’t have a canning tub and boil the jam after you’ve put it in the jars. Please believe me when I say the JAM STILL KEEPS if you haven’t done that. Ours lasts and stays good for a little over a year.
  7. Put the twist tops on and let the jam set! It’ll take at least a week for it to totally set, unless you used an unhealthy amount of pectin.
  8. The whole thing is somewhat grossly easy.


We managed to get 9 jars out of the first batch, which was cool.

We managed to get 9 jars out of the first batch, which was cool.

Don’t try and double a batch to make things go faster. It doesn’t work and the jam is weird.
Please do add the butter. It’s not a lot and it helps with the foam.
Seriously keep the jars warm if not boiling hot. It takes an annoying amount of time to seal if they aren’t.
Share with your friends!

And this has been the Jam Recipe Edition of my blog. It’s been fun and if you like this recipe let me know so I can post other ones like it!

Yesterday went… poorly

And hilariously not because I cheated on the diet! I had a huge breaking news story take place just as I was about to sit down and eat my lunch and took me away from snacks.

That said, I did drink all my water because I was outside for so long and got somewhat dehydrated.

In case you missed it I have to drink 125 ounces of water every day.

Thats a lot of water people!

So basically though, I missed my lunch and snack, which according to the diet plan isn’t the best thing in the world. I’m hoping it won’t be too much of a bummer later on, but I think I’m ok. I didn’t do the cardio for phase 1 either so thats an issue. I’ll have to make sure to do the weight lifting and yoga for the phase 2 and 3. Maybe two yogas, but I might be stretching it there.

not my gif

not my gif

I’ve also been really bad at eating at the set times according to the diet plan… I’m actually really good at getting up and eating with in 30 minutes of waking up. Its the set snack, lunch and dinner times that throw me.

I don’t eat at 6 p.m. If I do its a rarity because my family is so not early eaters. I’ve realized that I need to eat my morning snack before I go to my 10 a.m. cop briefing and not after because if its after then it’s around 11 a.m. or noon which is lunch time! Which I clearly also haven’t been eating on time!

This, so far, is my major issue. Timing. Which normally isn’t an issue for me, but apparently is when it comes to food? I guess?

Who knows. I’ll figure it out as the month goes on.

Pinterest may be my savior…

No lie. I just found Haylie Pomroy’s Pinterest board while looking for ‘safe’ snacks to have during this whole ordeal and OMG!

There is so much stuff on there.

I’m not actually sure why I didn’t think about going onto Pinterest in the first place, because now that I have I feel a little stupid for not having done so in the first place.

The reason this even came up was I got a little notification on my phone.

Don’t forget to eat the snack at 2:30

And went ‘oh fuck thats right but I don’t want a third apple today’. I also found yesterday that while water is really filling, it also gets really boring sometimes and isn’t really what I’m craving all the time. I craved different foods and I wanted more variety in my snacking.

This of course probably comes from the months of eating badly and not really paying attention (probably also the fact that I roasted three jumbo sized marshmallows over the gas stove Sunday and was having a serious sugar craving).

So I googled “phase 1 snacks”, and low and behold the plethora of snacks and other foods that she has decreed are excellent for the diet plan!

not my gif

not my gif

It was glorious and wonderful and so much cheaper than going out and buying her $16 cookbook to add on top of the $24 plan book and the $3 app.

Seriously though, how did one diet before apps and Pinterest? It’s so much easier to do now that we have all these handy-dandy bits of technology to help us through the day.

Honestly, it’s the little things in my life that make my life easier and happier.

Fast Metabolism Diet: Day 1

I miss snacks. It’s barely been a day on this diet and I miss snacks probably more than anything else.

First day plan on the app

First day plan on the app

This is not to say I can’t have them. I can. Just not constantly like I’ve been doing. Like I can’t just go back into the kitchen right now and grab something crunchy to eat because its so completely not on plan.

But what can you do at this point? I’ve committed to this and I’m really trying to make the next 28 days work for me.


Lunch – apple and a sprouted grain bread, nitrate free deli chicken, romaine lettuce and dijon mustard.

One thing I really love about about this is that it comes (for $2.99 on the Apple app store – after the $24.99 for the actual book) with an app that goes along with the plan.

So this is  helpful because not only do I plan out my day ahead of time but it tells me when I should be eating things and checks into make sure I’ve been drinking the water amounts (which is half your weight in ounces. So like, a lot of water) that are required.

I get the feeling, after looking at the website, that this diet kind of has a cult following, so thats something for me to watch out for. Falling into the cult is never a good place too quickly.

That said, I do like how this is set up. It’s perfect for my need to control things and it gives me a guideline as to how to do that. She sets up times and specific things to do at that time and for the diet to work you really have to follow them.

I’m only on the first day, so I’m trying to not get too optimistic, but you never know.

So yeah. I’ve got to plan dinners on plan, but most of them are pretty my-family friendly which is always a good thing. Like this is all food my family would eat anyway, so I or my mother, can cook to the plan and not really have to worry about people not liking it. For example, I’m planning on making an Italian herbed grilled chicken with brown rice and vegetables. Seriously? I do that in my sleep, easy peasy. The hard part – no oils during the first two days of the week. Which could be difficult.

But we’ll see. I’ll keep you updated as the time goes on.

We’re going to give this a try





My mother made a friend (one of many) a few years ago and this year her friend decided she needed to loose weight. She told my mother that she really did loose 20 pounds in 30 days using this diet plan. So momma and I decided to give it a try.

Her justification for it is, that I tend to to better with everything when I have set goals and rules to follow as I do them.

She is not wrong. I do.

So, starting roughly, tomorrow, I’ll be doing this diet. The “Fast Metabolism Diet”. I’ve started reading the book and I have to say I’m a little intimidated by this woman.

I am the metabolism whisperer

I know why you can’t do it – why your body doesn’t respond anymore to the relentless dieting, the mind-numbing exercise, the low-carb or low-fat or high-protein diets. I know why you aren’t losing weight … and I know how to fix it.  

She maybe a little bit rubs me the wrong way with this introduction to the book, but I’m willing to give it a chance. There is an app that goes along with it, which I haven’t really had a chance to play with yet, but looks really helpful.

I have honestly no clue how this is going to work or if it will work, but given the unsatisfactory way my life has been going of late, I’m willing to try just about anything. Even a new possibly fad-diet.