Weekly Weigh In: Sorry

OKAY So. Yeah. I’ve been silent the last few weeks. Unsurprisingly, I gained 2.4 pounds since last we spoke, given the dual Thanksgiving dinners, but it wasn’t quite as bad as I think it could have been.

I’ve taken to going to the gym more frequently (Friday/Saturday and this morning) and today I’m detoxing it out. So no caffeine, sugar or carbs at all today. My hope is that I’ll be able to do it with

It shall be a struggle, but I will en-devour not to partake. But I have flavored teas, none of which have sugars pre-added in to them. So this is good for me.

As I weighed myself this morning I had the unfortunate pleasure of looking in the mirror as I did it and it was just not a fun thing for me. I’m not a huge fan of the way my body looks. The whole image of me sans-clothing is not great. I feel like I look much better with clothes on, which is depressing and something that I’m really trying to work with in my mind.

But that said, I’ve also decided that it is a new month, and the start of a new week, so as has become a grand tradition on this blog, I’m starting over. And thats for everything from the diet to my budgeting.

All that said its become very clear to me that I need to have something for myself that isn’t volunteering and that I need someone to talk to that is going to be impartial about me and maybe tell me why I can’t stick with a diet…

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Weekly Weigh In: I Done Bad

I gained two pounds this week. Which is not great. Clearly. And a disappointment because I basically took back the weight I lost.

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I know that a lot of it has to do with my weekend and what I did over the course of it.

I also know that I wasn’t the greatest at tracking (because I didn’t track anything past Friday afternoon) nor did I really exercise all that well. This is ignoring the walking around I did on Saturday as I explored my college campus during Homecoming (I got a whole 7 activity points for that day). That doesn’t however, excuse the pretzel and four beers I had on campus and then the four more I had at my friend’s house and the three pieces of pizza.

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“The Great Pumpkin” beer on tap at my friends house!

Now, because I know my friend reads this I’m going to say this mostly for her benefit: My eating and drinking was in no way her fault. I know that I have a problem when it comes to stopping myself from eating pizza or drinking beer when I’m in a social setting like I was. It’s just something I need to become more aware of and refrain from doing.

Staying up until 1 a.m. did not help the situation at all. We all figured that somehow, we had gotten old and needed regular a bedtime of more reasonable hours like… 10 or maybe 10:30 if we want to be rebels about the whole thing.

I rued the day, being as I would say ‘delicate’ on Sunday. Feeling not at all well, but having to drive back from Pennsylvania and somehow survive the trip was something I didn’t want to even consider. But I’d promised my grandparents that I’d go up and visit them on the trip home.

(It helped that my grandmother was like I have furniture you can take.  And bookshelves! So in an effort to save money I went to the house to snag furniture)

But, what this resulted in was my grandfather, who I love and adore, buying what is quite possibly my favorite sandwich in the whole freaking world. IMG_3260

I am aware that it doesn’t look like much. But let me explain to you this sandwich. It is called a Sloppy Joe and this type of Joe you can only get in New Jersey. It’s three slices of thin sliced rye bread, turkey (although you can get other meats as well), provolone cheese, coleslaw and Russian dressing. It’s sliced into three sections and it is my perfect sandwich.

Were I to ever require a last meal this is probably up there with what I would get.

That said, I guessed on how much of everything is in that sandwich and it goes for a whopping 22 points. This is not a sandwich you eat regularly or if you do then you’re exercising way more than I do.

I had planned on only eating half of it and bringing the rest home for later devouring but I wound up eating the whole thing. I have, apparently, no self-control.

To make everything worse, I had youth group last night and we (somehow) decided to walk to Dunkin Donuts for cocoa. And while I wasn’t paying attention I was ordered a medium cocoa with whipped cream rather than the small decaf coffee I would have ordered had I been in my right faculties.

I didn’t have much else to eat last night.

Oh, and we’re not even going to talk about the meal I had on Friday night. We just can’t even touch that one. (Not that it was bad. Because it was SO SO good.)

In the weekly update when you weigh in, it says that its only one week and to try to figure out what happened last week.

I think its very clear that I know exactly what happened last week. And I know that to fix it I should pay much more attention to my weekend eating and add exercise in to my routine. So that it my goal this week. To have at least one proper exercise and to be better at the weekend.

So basically, I’m the worst

I’m sorry. I’ve been absolutely awful about keeping up with this blog recently.

Or actually keeping up with my diet and exercise plan. Which shouldn’t be an excuse for not posting here. I’ve just been intensely lazy recently and thats permeated my entire life, not just in my dieting life. I’ve literally give up all fucks.  (Please excuse all swears. I’m in a funk)

It’s embarrassing to admit, but there it is. I’ve just basically thrown everything – work, diet, exercise, personal interactions – up in the air and said fuck it.

Basically this has been my life for the last two weeks.

not my gif

not my gif

What caused this funk you might ask? Yes, well I’m asking myself the same thing. And when you’re in a funk as deep as mine is currently, it’s really hard to get the fuck out of it.

I’ve gained weight, I’ve done shit with tracking my food and I’ve literally given the finger to exercise. About the only decent thing I’ve done is watch the Olympics religiously. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worked and done things, but its been minimal and under great duress. 

So please excuse me as I crawl my way out of this funk and attempt to re-establish my life in a way that won’t revolve around carbs, sugar or self pity. 

Well Count Me Frustrated

So I won my mini challenge, I tracked every day, but I gained three pounds. Which is immensely irritating as I exercised quite a lot this past week and thought I ate fairly well.

Though, if I’m being totally honest I wasn’t exactly on plan this week regardless of tracking, but I thought I’d eaten well enough for it not to matter as much as it did.

For sure, my family’s Super Bowl party didn’t help.

Part of our Super Bowl Spread

Part of our Super Bowl Spread

But honestly, I don’t think I ate badly this week. And when I did, I ate lighter the next few days. I’m just frustrated because this doesn’t seem to be working at the moment. I’m not losing but I’m exercising.

I’m at a loss of where to go from here, because I’m clearly doing something wrong. I donno. I mostly just want to go cry in a corner and not do anything.

The morning has barely started and I already want to crawl back into bed.